3+ Things I learned from Cancer

It has been 25 years since I received the diagnosis of advanced malignant melanoma…”tomorrow might be too late….”

Today, it’s just an old story. So is the suicide of my dad at age 6 an old story, the sexual abuse right afterwards and the lie I was told, he would have had a stroke. Those old stories and the genes I come with had built you could say: a “mental setup” – a wiring in my system. Cancer was a signal from the body to change that setup – it wasn’t helpful any longer. It came out and appeared, when I had been feeling overwhelmed and in fear over a longer period of time in my thirties during burnout and divorce.

Despite the odds, this is how resilience naturally works and creativity is a never ending story…. considering, what stories I created afterwards….

What have I learnt? Here is the short video about 3 things dis-ease (stage IV malign melanoma) taught me:

Embracing Life

1. I learned that I cannot trust, that thoughts were “true”: When I was waiting for the lab results, I thought about the things I would do, in case I’d die soon. When I had the results in my hands “next week might be too late”, nothing of all this war important – only here now.

2. The reason why dying was not “an option” at that time was my small kids. I realized I didn’t appreciate my life as much as I do today. At that time living felt more like a heavy load, all about finding something that makes that load lighter. Exhausting. It took experiencing stage VI cancer to become aware of this state of mind.

3. I discovered the need to regularly question, challenge, and expand ‘the box’ of my thoughts, beliefs and limitations. My newfound passion became exploring what lies beyond the confines of this box, beyond those self-imposed boundaries. One way to do this is by fearlessly exploring those fears that aren’t truly life-threatening. On the other hand, some boundaries, that had been broken in childhood needed healing.

4. I started questioning my values. Inner Peace became value number one. That included Mental, Emotional and Physical Know-How and resulted new Actions, a new lifestyle.

5. My new priority was moderation and consistency, finding balance, becoming more present versus chasing goals and “getting things over with“, aiming to create more sustainable and manageable practices in life to achieve healthy outcomes.

6. No matter how much I learned, explored and experienced, every day I am at a beginning. Learning, knowledge and experiences are valuable and important for me to keep growing as a human, and living the moment fully present is what really matters.

7. I start embracing my humanity by acknowledging, accepting, and embracing all my emotions and journey, “good” and “bad”. Without pondering on the past, recognizing the present, also what triggers trust issues, fears, sadness. And: learning to trust that feeling and communicating my needs is safe.

Cancer taught me that those things. I am still learning by living every day as awake as I can. Step by step, enjoying what is, all we got…

What were your learning opportunities from life experiences?

Happy day, where ever you guys are xx

Manuela

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